Okay, this post is going to be a bit of a rant, so I apologize already. I have had this thought on my mind for a few weeks or longer. As I have explained before, one of my daughters has an extremely rare brain abnormality. She struggles to learn and do what many of us take for granted. She has very little depth perception and peripheral vision. She has trouble with her short-term memory. She has lots of trouble with crossing midline activities like swimming, biking, reading, and writing (think about the fact that we read and write from left to right). She has what I would consider “special needs”. She needs help and accommodations to do regular, everyday things.
I have heard that “special needs” is now considered a politically incorrect word for people who happen to have any type of lifelong difficulty. I had one parent tell me that her daughter, who is deaf, is not “special needs” but just unable to hear. While I agree, the world has gotten a lot easier for those who are hearing impaired; I was left with the feeling that she saw the phrase “special needs” as a dirty word to be avoided at all costs.
I found this online:
More Appropriate: Sam has epilepsy, Tony has cerebral palsy (CP), Helen has a learning disability, – attention deficit disorder
*Less Appropriate: “special”, person has “special needs”
Comment: *Term is patronizing and distancing by those with disabilities. Often used by programs providing services and support for disabled people and meant as a ‘positive’ alternative. Describes that which is different about ANY person as all simply have “needs.”
I suppose what I am having a hard time with is that getting upset about words that are not intended to offend is that I feel like it alienates more than helps. My daughter is one of approximately 46 people in the United States to have colpocephaly. I have to explain what it is to most doctors. It’s much easier to say she has special needs, or she is developmentally delayed. At least then there is a moment of understanding and maybe empathy. Listen, being a parent of a child with any disability is hard and lonely. The more that the disability affects daily life and that child’s future, the harder it is. Every child is different. Every parent is different. I work hard on doing my best for MY child. I don’t have time to look up and stay updated on the most current politically correct language for disabilities, struggles, handicaps (or whatever you call them). I spend my days doing occupational and physical exercises with my child. I look up and research the newest research on what she struggles with. I sit for hours and work with her on basic life skills, as well as trying to teach her all the subjects that will enrich her life. I don’t have time to sit around and be offended.
I don’t intend to be offensive or mean, but I think sometimes we spend too much time on stuff that doesn’t matter. My child and her “special” needs keep me too busy for that!
You help take care of her needs. Also, you teach her how to get them taken care of, how she can. Which may not be the mainstream way. We love you all! 🙂
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We love you too!
totally agree with you xx
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Thank you so much for stopping by and taking your time to leave a comment! I look forward to exploring your blog!
Its a pleasure.
I was concerned for a bit about using the term special Needs in my blog. I decided I’m using it and that was that. Thank you for sharing your post
Thank you for taking your time to leave a note! I’m going to head over to your blog right now! Have a great day.
I know this is an old post, but my daughter has colpocephaly as well. She was diagnosed last year at the age of 17. But obviously I knew my daughter was special her whole life. I have never met anyone else who has this disability. Your story is powerful and means a lot to me. Thank you for your post
Thank you for your comment! I wish you and your daughter the very best!