In Pollyanna, the main character (Pollyanna) plays the “glad game”. She is always looking at every scenario with the outlook that there is always something to be glad about. We started playing the game too. We aren’t as good as it as we should be, but we’re working on it. It’s so easy to be discouraged or disappointed in this world. It’s easy to become bitter and for the good to seem rare. It’s not really that rare; we just don’t look for it like we should. So, for this Thanksgiving month, I’d like to challenge everyone out there to play the “Glad Game” with us. Look for the good. Find something to be glad about. Reflect on all that you have to be thankful for.
Let me preface this post with an admission. I don’t have it all together or all figured out. I don’t have a PhD in child psychology or anything like that. I am just a parent. I have taught preschoolers for over twenty years in one way or another; however, it is not my career.
One of those things that I see and hear all the time is a new or newish parent being questioned or shamed on how they are doing__fill in the blank_______. Actually, it isn’t even new parents that this happens to. I, having children ranging from 17 to 3, am often given advice or questioned all about what I’m doing with my 3 year old and my 11 year old. Oftentimes, I look at it like a gift; because let’s face it, these kids didn’t come with an instruction manual and if there was one, it would be different for each kid. There are other times when this advice or interrogation is not welcome.
I feel so badly for parents who are feeling so overwhelmed by some aspect of parenting, who then have to face someone making them feel even more inept with their with comments or “suggestions”. If that’s where you are today, then this is for you!
Here’s some reassurance:
- If you love your child, and are doing the best you can do today; it is enough. Maybe tomorrow you’ll have more energy or have more things figured out, but love covers a lot and it is what lasts.
- Your kid will probably not take a pacifier to college, so relax. Before children, I knew a child who loved her pacifier. She took it everywhere and had it in her mouth most of the time. Her parents heard advice and admonishments from everyone. Her teeth had started to do that weird thing that they do when a child takes a pacifier for a long time. Those poor parents felt the pressure, so they tried to take it away a thousand different ways. None of them worked. I am sure they feared that she would, indeed, go to college with that thing in her mouth. She made a pronouncement that the day she started kindergarten (sarcastic GASP!) that she would be done with the pacifier forever. You know what? She did exactly what she said. She’s in college now and has one of the prettiest smiles I’ve ever seen! My own children did similar things. My third child loved her “uh-oh” (called that because she dropped it so often and heard uh-oh” uttered with each fall, hence that name). I was worried that she would have it forever. One day , when she was about 3 years old, I was putting her in her car seat and she said, “throw that uh-oh away, I’m done with it.” We did and she was.
- Tantrums are normal. They suck, but they’re normal. When your kid is losing his or her mind in the store and you are sweating and your blood pressure is rising and you’re wondering how this little child has the strength of a hundred men, just know every person who has cared for a child has been there.
- Speaking of tantrums, when that precious baby of yours is having one, know that most people are not judging you. I won’t lie and say that no one is. You know, there are always people out there who love to be jerks. Ignore them. They’re sad people. Most people in the store with you are feeling your pain. They wish they could help you out. Take a deep breath and realize you’re not alone.
- When your child cries when you drop him or her off at the babysitter’s, grandma’s, or daycare, know that they will be okay. The faster you drop them off, assure them you will be back and you love them, the better! If they draw you into the drama, it will only make things harder. Drop them off, get your stuff done, and get back there.
- You don’t need fancy electronic toys or flashcards or computer programs. Your child will play with what you give them. They will also use random things to pretend with, if they are given the chance. Give them that chance. Imagination is a great thing!
- They don’t care about their clothes. You can pretty much buy whatever brand of clothes you like, wherever it is you like to shop. They just don’t want it to be itchy or tight. If you can’t afford the latest Matilda Jane outfit, you’re kid isn’t even going to care. Don’t sweat it.
- They are going to say things that are embarrassing. They will either say something about themselves or you that will make you blush. They might even say something about someone else that will cause you to wish the floor would open up and eat you. I urge you to look at the bright side. You’ll have a great story to use against them in their teen years, and most people have had their children do the same to them.
- There are a thousand different methods to potty train. I know one thing for sure. Your kid isn’t going to do it until he or she is ready. You can guilt, make promises, give rewards, on and on; but until your cutie pie is ready, it isn’t going to happen. I had one of my children who carried around her potty and self potty trained at 18 months. I had another who I was fearful was never going to care enough to potty train. Guess what. She started using the potty on her own when I asked her if she wanted to be in the big kid class at preschool. She was ready and it happened. Don’t fret too much about it.
- You don’t have a lot of control. See above. They are born their own people. It doesn’t take long for free will to come into play. They will be mean sometimes. They will lie sometimes. They’ll act downright awful sometimes. They will make choices that aren’t great. These behaviors will go on for their entire lives. Your job is to love them, guide them, and tell them your expectations. Build them up, but never let them think they’re perfect or have to be. Let them know their worth doesn’t come from what they achieve. They are a unique creation and their worth comes from something much greater!
Maybe this post contained too much advice, apologies if it did; but I hope that whoever reads it feels a little less alone in this big job of parenting. It’s a hard job, but so completely worth it!
I had a Fitbit for a week before I returned it. I had lots of trouble with it. I then exchanged it for a Microsoft fit watch. I really liked this watch; but it mysteriously disappeared from my bag after our flight from Las Vegas. I searched high and low through every pocket of every bag, but it is gone. I miss not having something to keep me aware of my steps and calorie burn. I think it helps keep me motivated. The Microsoft was a little bulky and a little more expensive than I wanted to spend (again).
I just bought a Jawbone watch. I met a lady wearing one and she pretty much sold me on getting one a few months ago. Since we are already looking at fall break ideas, I decided I really need to whip myself into better shape and a watch will help keep me accountable. I signed up for their email and got $10% off my first purchase and it was free shipping as well. I bought the UP2 Lightweight Thin Strap for $89.
Once I completed my purchase it sent me a link (now expired)to let my friends get $15 off and they would give me $15 off any future purchase. I thought that was a nice little extra.
I hope you have a super day!!
Most mornings I’m up and among non-family people before the sun comes up or at least very near that time. It always strikes me how people are so friendly in the mornings. Now, I know there are those people who detest mornings and they are not at all happy to chat it up with anybody; but I don’t usually encounter those people. Almost everyone who I see bright and early says, “Good morning.” We might even have a little chat as we walk along. It makes the day a little brighter when I meet up with nice people in those early hours of the day.
I asked my husband why he thought people were much more likely to acknowledge and address one another in the morning. He believes that it’s because the stress of the day hasn’t worn people down yet and that the schedule seems a little more free to allow those extra few seconds or minutes of friendly chatter.
I think if people talked more, acknowledged one another more, and if we took a few seconds to greet one another and truly share more moments with each other, this world would be a better place. If I know someone else’s burdens or joys, even if I don’t know their last name, I’m more grateful and more caring for them and my own family than if I shut myself up in my own little world and only care about the things in my reach. I hope this morning is a good one for you and I hope that your day is a better one than yesterday!
Last year I casually grabbed a weed out of the ground by my sidewalk. I threw the weed away, but quickly noticed something all over my hand. I looked more closely and realized my hand was covered in hundreds of the tiniest ticks I’d ever seen. I couldn’t get them off me fast enough! They were on my fingers, wrist, and under my watch. I was completely freaked out! I got them off, threw my clothes in the dryer on the highest setting and took a shower. It gave me the creeps every time I thought of it. With the very real risk of Lyme disease and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, ticks are not just gross but can be dangerous. I know two people who’ve had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and both were extremely ill!
My current predicament is that my flower beds need to be weeded so badly; but I’m honestly freaked out at the thought of hundreds of ticks on those weeds.
Here’s why…according to tickbites.net
The life of a tick starts as an egg. Female ticks breed when on the host and drops to the ground to lay eggs. The female tick lays thousands of eggs which will then hatch as the climate temperature and moisture increase, to become a larva. A tick on the larval stage is known as seed tick. The larva is about 1/8 of an inch in size and has six legs but already looks like the adults. These larva staged ticks need to feed in each of the stages order to grow into the next one. Ticks are not capable of jumping therefore they use grass and other forms of plants to raise themselves to a certain height where they can easily latch on to passing animals.
So, even though I’m scared and grossed out, I’m going to glove up, spray lots of bug spray all over me, say a prayer and weed those flower beds.